Killerwhale

2003-04-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

From now on the Killerwhale's going skyward in triumph unless he's doing a rad 180 and slams his big mouth on a concrete rock.

2003-04-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

Because a lot of people's lifes became meaningless after I got too lazy to type this shit there's nothing else I could do...

2002-09-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

Indierockgod J.Mascis did a song about the Killerwhale : tell the truth.

2002-09-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

Inside the head of a Killerwhale

2002-09-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

I've been telling a lot of people to go see the awesome Bellrays (not on this page but live in their face), but nobody seems to listen. They rather go see some stupid but very hip danceshit. I say those people haven't got the balls to experience the BOMB that is the Bellrays live in concert 'cause they'll have to admit that all that hip danceshit they're listening to is empty meaningless CRAP that's only good for backgroundmusic while shopping at the GB or taking the elevator or having a shit at a public toilet (it's especially very good for shitting, may I recommend Royksopp or whatever it's called for improved bowelmovement!). Admit it people after almost 50 years of modern popmusic not crappy computerbeats with some wimpy but fashionable asshole pressing some buttons here and there but loud guitars, thunderdrums and a screaming voice are still what it takes to get your dick hard or your pussy wet (mmm, wet pussy)! Have you got what it takes? Prove it tonight at the Lintfabriek in Kontich 'round 8 o'clock. I'll see you there or I'll know you are a SQUARE! If you are a bit dim and never heard the Bellrays listen to some tracks here: Blues for Godzilla, Hole in the world and Dark horse pidgeon

2002-09-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Here are the Moistboyz again with another tune of their latest album. Maybe they've been reading this page and agreed with the Whale that it's pretty cheap to just put up part of a song so here's a complete one called 'The Tweaker' and needless to say...

2002-08-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

While the list of overrated shitbands is already bigger than the motherfuckin' bible here's the world's most underrated one: MUDHONEY! No pathetic drugaddictions, stupid suicides or anal selfpity for these guys just fuckin' ROCK! Not that they have been living the straight life but thanks to the miracles of sonic infusion they survived almost every poserband they had to open for the last decade or so.

2002-08-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

A special request from my man René the haircutmodel (it's his first step toward a career as a pornstar). This is Titclap (not a new venereal disease for da ladies) by Bob Log III (now he could be a pornstar with a name like that) and yes that sound in the break is exactly what you think it is!

2002-08-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

Fuck wanking your guitar, KILLING it is a lot cooler and at least it shows you have got a satisfying sexlife (or not?). That's right I'm talking about and you will know us by the stupid jokes the Whale cracks about our name... who will conquer the stage tomorrowafternoon and show us exactly why Millionaire sucks and Jane's Addiction are bunch of old farts! If you're not going to see them than this song is about you.

2002-08-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Talkin' about wankin' your instrument local boys Hypnos 69 finally released their first CD, I don't know about their abilities on the dick but instrumentwise there's some pretty good wanking going on! And to make the Whale completely happy they've put up a free mp3 that's NOT on the cd! Why they didn't put it on there sure is an astral mystery to me...

2002-08-19T05:27:00.000-07:00

I know a lot of you wimps are going to the Puke'elpopfestival just to see 'our instruments are like our dicks : we can wank'em all day long' Motorpsycho play some Sharphillcitycoffeeshopbackgroundmusic (not the dutch kind of coffeeshop you onetrackmind motherfucker)! Well I say FUCK Motorpsycho for once, you seen'em what? a MILLION times already! Go check out hot babes The Donnas, they'll kick Motorpussy's ass any day! They're a rock'n'rollmachine who can take on 40 boys in 40 nights and still be hyperactive! So move your doped up ass to the The Donnasstage and maybe if your lucky you'll even get one of the Donnas alone!

2002-08-19T05:05:00.000-07:00

I've been getting a lot of reactions to the Killerwhalepage and what surprises the Whale very much is that you people seem to think I'm very funny. I'm not funny goddamnit, I'm fucking serious. I'm pouring my motherfuckin' heart and soul out on these pages and you fuckers seem to treat it like a cheap laugh. Well you better start taking this stuff serious or the wrath of the Whale will come down on you! So watch out 'cause next time you have a chuckle while reading the Whalepage, the Killerwhalecurse will hit your genitals like only a Killerwhalecurse can and you will wish you were born a eunuch!

2002-08-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

YES! Finally THE MOISTBOYZ are back to save rock'n'roll from art, girls and green plastic SHIT! Listen to (parts of (cheap bastards!)) Great American Zero and I am the reaper!

2002-08-14T17:18:00.000-07:00

On Friday in the early afternoon at the 'Give us all your cash and we will fuck you up the ass'-festival The Icarus Line will deliver some good advice to the people : feed a cat to your cobra! (The Whale already knew that) Go here for more psychotic drugrock and look on Soulseek for their great Spacemen 3-cover "Walking with Jesus" (and all the mp3's your harddisc can handle for that matter).

2002-08-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

Just noticed the timetables are up on the Pukkelpopsite and it looks like they let Hermans housemongoloid put the thing together once again. It even looks like they're out to get the Whale! Lotsa Killerfavorites are doubled up at the same time on different stages. Festivals: pay more money to see only half the bands you can and want to see! Since I'm promoting that shit right here I am demanding a free ticket! Every asshole that can make a sentence of 3 words in some stupid magazine or paper can get in for free so it's only natural a downright GENIUS like the Killerwhale should get a free ticket, hell they should give ME money just to show my face! It's not like they need the cash with all those fucking sponsors, I even wonder why anyone has go to pay? Fuck festivals, fuck Choco and fuck the nazis! (oh yeah, don't call me a fucking racist for calling that socialist dicksucker Chokri Choco, it's got nothing to do with the dude's skin, you don't judge people on their skincolor, that's fucking stupid, you judge people on their taste in music!)

2002-08-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

Since I'm at it anyway, I'll put some more stuff up right now so I can be lazy again for a couple of weeks. On friday the amazing Def Juxcollective will boggle your potfried minds with Willy Wonka Wordplay and Super Scary Soundscapes! More Defjukies here and here

2002-08-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

Loads of barely dressed teenage girls, potsmoking pillpopping and just allround annoying teenageboys, overaged bastards pretending they're still teenagers and one cool Killerwhale. That's right Pukkelpop is coming up. Once again El Choco managed to get some seriously good bands lined up which is a true miracle since the belgian musicgestapo is involved in this one and they've got tons of crap to push. If you wanna be as cool as the Killerwhale I'm gonna give you some pointers on what's hot and what's not in the Whale's universe. First up is the motherfucking tribute to the Stooges, fuck Iggy and his hairmetalband this is the real deal. Here's some footage of a show in London last year they did with Primal Screamer Bobby G. on vocals and attacking the crowd Iggystyle! More to come...

2002-08-13T04:54:00.000-07:00

I promised myself to put some more work into this page but now I learned my lesson.

2002-08-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

Oh no, can it be true? Is the only hope for punkrockers pushing on 40 to be taken seriously, Ian MacKaye, a dopesmoking sexfiend? First there was this shocking exposé and now even some soundproof has turned up. Listen to this and tell me you think Ian isn't giving Lee Perry and all the other rastadudes a run for their money in the grand reggaetradition of stoned mumbling over a fucked up riddim. Frankly the Whale wouldn't give a shit if Ian turned out to be a puppydogmolestor as long as he keeps rocking like this. For more liverock'n'roll for people who aren't very rock'n'roll (and real rockers to of course) go here.

2002-07-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

Actually in his mysterious absence the Whale was kicking his latest sexaddiction, I had my mojo pumping so hard it almost fell of. And I can't have that, now can I?

2002-07-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

After an overwhelming demand of wild hysterical fans for new Killerwhaleshit, your humble servant once again returns to this crappy server to deliver the goods!

2002-07-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

Oh what a beautiful fucking day and you're sitting there behind that stupid desk getting a radioactive tan from your stupid monitor while your asshole boss is banging that 20 year old overpaid assistant-whatever bitch in the next room and your frustrated collegue is turning the place into Auschwitz with his farts 'cause he's been on another boozebinge the night before (and all the nights before that since his wife left him for your asshole boss, yeah the same one) but nevermind all that, get yourself some pure bliss courtesy of the unbeatable Weendudes and an obsessed Legofreak.

2002-07-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Hot Snakes are a hot new allstar boysband! Listen to their hitsong "Who died" and remember where you heard it first!

2002-07-04T17:54:00.000-07:00

Go start the revolution tonight in Brussels! Antibalas will shake the nazis away and make you party like you were gay!

2002-07-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

The Whale is back to give you a heartattack!!!!

2002-06-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

teenagers rock!

2002-06-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

teenage hater

2002-06-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

no blood

2002-06-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

Speakers push the air

2002-06-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

..., hate sun hate people hate you, who died?

2002-06-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

jósef tekur fimmuna í vinnuna

2002-06-20T13:08:00.000-07:00

His name is Khai and he likes juice!

2002-06-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah !

2002-06-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

If there was any justice and good taste in music in this world this song would be a fucking hit all over the world and J Live would be hiring that bitch Britney to do his nails. As it stands you can't get his CD in your local recordstore. This is supposed to be stealing, how can you steal something you can't even buy? And why is everybody supposedly stealing music? Maybe because nobody wants to shell out even 1 eurocent for all the fucking bullshit these recordselling marketingwhores are trying to shove up our ass, although there still seem to be a lot of really huge assholes out there, waiting to be filled.

2002-06-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

Even now when they are fucking millionnaires the White Stripes are to cheap to hire a bassplayer like any decent rock'n'rollband. Steven McDonald of Redd Kross applied anyway and gives you every week two songs of the Stripes latest album with added bassparts!!! I'm finding it harder to be a gentleman (grow pubic hair first Jack) and the Whale's favourite (together with a whole bunch of chirochicks probably) Fell in love with a girl. Go here next week for more tunes.

2002-06-12T16:44:00.000-07:00

Allright, it's late and I'm lazy so just click here and here. Enjoy!

2002-06-10T07:39:00.000-07:00

Dope funk or funky dope? Breakestra makes the funky 16 corners come alive!

2002-06-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

Plenty of opportunities to give your ass that much needed workout this weekend! For fridaynightfitness go to Les Halles de Schaerbeek for a crazy deepfunkparty with a liveperformance by the New Mastersounds and plenty of nerdy DJ's (including one Mailman Moos) with expensive 45s you can only dream about. I'll bet your girl is gonna be in the mood for some hot doggystyling afterworths!
On saturdaynight professional aerobicteacher Margaret is giving a class in rock'n'rollgymnastics with her superband the Demolition Doll Rods at 't Hoekske in the metropole of the Kempen Gierle! Maybe if you ask her politely she'll even marry you for the weekend.

2002-06-05T15:04:00.000-07:00

Good news if you're into old women, good ol' gal Kim Gordon is back once again with yet another classic moaner.

2002-06-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

Woehoew! Everybody's favourite drummer finally quit fighting his foos. That means the queens find themselves with a millionaire pounding the skins like the sky is falling.

2002-06-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

The Highschool Rockers think you're ugly. And well, you are!

2002-05-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

The Yanks got into a bit of trouble since they didn't spot that Arab on radar. Their new prez seems to inhale though, carfumes that is. When he was 5 daddy-o used to lock him up in the garage everytime he took the mexican maid for a rough ride on the rug. Giorgio's been addicted ever since!

2002-05-28T05:51:00.000-07:00

Cornelius is a genius. He such a genius you can know listen to his whole new record in less than three minutes. Word is he's been hired by the man to entertain the masses at the upcoming gathering of the sheep. From my point of view he dropped the ball there. That doesn't mean I hate him though, he's just got a different opinion about it. I just have another smoke and let the star fruits surf ride me.

2002-05-27T05:57:00.000-07:00

The singer in Rumah Sakit had a stomachache due to the sincere belief that the rest of his band was trying to kill him.

2002-05-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

The Rapture seem to be a hip band, that's weird 'cause the whale likes 'em too. But hey, if they can do a song about dumb waiters why can't dumb dj's like 'em? I heard a rumour that the (we are) fucking (eachother) Dewaele Brothers are real jealous lovers! So beware boys (and I do mean boys!) and girls (sometimes when they can't even find their own asshole)!

2002-05-23T06:49:00.000-07:00

The Dirtbombs like S&M! Go see'em whip butts at the Lintfabriek tomorrownight.

2002-05-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

Sweep the leg Johnny after you masturbated, than do the rerun.

2002-05-21T07:27:00.000-07:00

Good news if you wanna copy some crap. I'm gonna burn me some copies from that new Ozark Henry CD right now just to rip that wanker off!

2002-05-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

Yo stoners, some new rock for ya! First up it's Orquestra del Desierto who launch a whole new genre of music : the stonerflamenco! With a whole bunch of well known potheads they practice the noble sport of shadow stealing (isn't that illegal?).
Hermano is another allstarstonerthingy featuring the loud mumbling of John Garcia (you know) and original Afghan Whigs drummer Steve Earl! Look here for some samples. These guys will be rocking the Gentse Fieste the 21st of july at the Beestenmarkt (free blowjobs for the band courtesy of the cocksucking Dewaelebrothers)!

2002-05-17T06:37:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately the Killerwhale has got to miss all this greatness 'cause he's got tickets for the soldout And you will know us by the extralarge concertposters so they can fit our name on them show in the AB-club. Yes, it's a great band at the AB, I guess they've got so much cash to throw around they can't do nothing else than let a good band play sometimes!

2002-05-17T06:25:00.000-07:00

Also on sundaynight it's a FREE bluesfestival in Brussels headlined by the mighty André Williams with dutch trashrockers Green Hornet! André can even get der Mussolini to shake a tailfeather! It's the black godfather with his hit squad live in Europe! I can tell ya he's got it and you want it!

2002-05-17T05:55:00.000-07:00

Rock'n'roll overload! Rock'n'roll overload! That's right sundaynight it's a rock'n'roll overload, no less than 3, yes three, fucking great rock'n'rollshows! First up is it's speedmetalpunks ZEKE in JH t'Hoekske in Gierle of all places! I don't think they're gonna get drugs there. Fortunately Holland is closeby! If you can't go (like yours truly) you still can watch'em!

2002-05-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

The dudes in Super_Collider used to be part of the nazibeatmovement 'till they saw the light and decided da Funk was the way to go, and what a way they went! Their tunes are the perfect soundtrack to the Killerwhale's legendary druginduced freakoutsexsessions and that's a fucking hard scene to put music to I tell ya!
Since they blew all their cash on their new record they ask you, the public, to help them promote it. Although they're to cheap to put up some free music the Killerwhale orders you in the name of the holy fight against crap to download this poster and put it up anywhere you think the magic sounds of Super_Collider are needed.

2002-05-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

Listen how giant star xi Hya blows away the universe (and all boring drum'n'bass, techno, house or whatever they call that nazibeatshit)!

2002-05-15T07:07:00.000-07:00

Japanese moviemadness tonight : Lady Snowblood : Love Song of Vengeance, female samourai bloodshed! 21.15 Campus Parkstraat Leuven

2002-05-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

I wonder how much dope got smoked here?

2002-05-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

Everybody Sexareeno!

2002-05-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

Everybody must see the only great film ever made in Flanders (besides "Zware Jongens" of course). It's PRINCESS at Cinemazed.

2002-05-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

Skating to 70's hardrock is cool!

2002-05-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

Treat yourself to some live Motorpsycho right here (get the Rockefeller 2001 show as it features a jazzband). Support the guy who put all this great shit up here.

2002-05-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

And a special dedication to the chief!

2002-05-09T08:20:00.000-07:00

Why bother?

2002-05-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

Meet my brother in species Fudgy!

2002-05-08T09:04:00.000-07:00

Talking 'bout Japan, did you know that the rulers of Rock'n'Roll in the new millenium lived there? Yes, it's the mighty GUITAR WOLF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rock out Japanstyle and become a member of the jet generation!
Read this interview and be astonished by their wit and intelligence!
Watch their movie and discover why all Oscarwinning movies suck!
Be as cool as the mighty GUITAR WOLF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and get your own GUITAR WOLF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! leather jacket!
Are you amazed that they already deserved their place in history?

I'm not

2002-05-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

This month the Worldchampionship Sucker starts in Japan. To celebrate this occasion Moosproductions present a Japanese undergroundmoviefestival. Let's see if Wesley Stinck can get his ball in the Gate of flesh on the openingmatch tonight. Every wednesday around 21.15 somewhere on the campus in the Parkstraat. See you there!

2002-05-07T16:52:00.000-07:00

Oh no, it's the shortest bandname ever !!!

2002-05-07T16:29:00.000-07:00

The afternoon of the stupid long bandnames! Brrrrrrr... :
And you will know us by the trail of dead... in relative ways of course.
These guys are tight bro's from way back when they survived a hurricane by sticking their nose in the corner.

2002-05-05T06:03:00.000-07:00

Fuck 15 minutes of fame I'd rather have...

2002-05-05T05:55:00.000-07:00

Let's have a party!

2002-05-05T05:46:00.000-07:00

Funky chillout numbers 1 and 2

2002-05-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

While smoking in the shadow, listen to Dead Meadow!

2002-05-03T15:11:00.000-07:00

Brains on popcorn!

2002-05-03T09:44:00.000-07:00

So you want to climb up the corporate foodchain, dontcha? Here are some pointers from commierappers the Coup to do just that.

2002-05-02T11:11:00.000-07:00

Don't panic, due to some of this and some of that I couldn't blog for a while. But thanx to the hard and long praying of a nun all my sins were forgiven and now I'm back online (no thankx to Darlene).

2002-04-26T04:24:00.000-07:00

Rock'n'Roll tonight! The Come-Ons, catchy funktunes from Detroit at the Lintfabriek. Check out some tunes here, here and here. See you tonight!

2002-04-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

You have to sleep late when you can and all your bad days will end.

2002-04-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

It's Metal, Jim, but not as we know it. Hats off to The Fucking Champs!

2002-04-24T06:08:00.000-07:00

A dead Beatle, a moaning hussy and a shitload of acid, what can it be but another Moosmovie! Yes, tonight for the first time ever on a screen in Belgium Wonderwall! 21.15h somewhere on the campus in the Parkstraat in Leuven. Free entrance for naked hippiechicks. Oh yeah, and fuck Oasis!

2002-04-23T13:15:00.000-07:00

You don't have to sport an afro to be a great rocker of course, you can look like an extra in a WWI-pornmovie and still kick ass.

2002-04-21T15:33:00.000-07:00

New Tool video in Arabic.

2002-04-21T04:51:00.000-07:00

Hypnos 69 are a bunch of local longhaired scum that know how to ROCK!

2002-04-19T08:34:00.000-07:00

The Afro has always been a sign of bands that give me a big bad boner (see the MC5 or Funkadelic). Nowadays the Afro is working on a comeback (see Zen Guerrilla or The Mars Volta). But the one guy that kept the Afrolegacy alive during the last decade is the mighty King Buzzo, axewielder extraordinaire with menband The Melvins. And they just released 2 new sets of portable earthquakes. Listen to Brain Center, about the virtues of the Afro, from the album "Hostile Ambient Takeover". With Buzzo's other band, Fantômas they recorded a livealbum "FantômasMelvinsBigBand" with songs about a kinky girlfriend and her dog.

2002-04-18T05:37:00.000-07:00

The Hot Pockets are Europe's best rock'n'roll band (not that it's that hard to be Europe's best r'n'r band but anyway...). And now I'm gonna get me some.

2002-04-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

Mad Mailman Moos is unlocking his vault of weird fucking movies again tonight with Following by the guy who scored big time with shrinks all over the world with his Memento flick. The festivities start at 21.15 somewhere at the campus in the Parkstraat in Leuven.
After making the number one spot on the "great bands selling out and making the shittiest record ever" list they're back with a vengeance, Girls Against Boys. Listen to Kicking The Lights and Basstation, 2 ballbreakers that vaporize their shamefull past into thin air. New record somewhere in May and a little fairie whispered into the Whale's ear they're maybe gonna headline some free festival in that place where people talk slow.

2002-04-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

Do you really? Okay than, check out the Soledad Brothers. They just released a fuckin' great new record. It's like the White Stripes suddenly have grown pubic hair. That doesn't bother them to get the hots for teenage girls, who can also fuck you up and break you down like only they can.

2002-04-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

Allright, here we go boys and girls.
We're gonna start this mutha up with one important question.

2002-04-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

Hide your children, lock up your wives and unplug your computer. The Killer Whale is coming!